39 X 2 + 1
(How do you spell procrastination?
This article should have been posted
in 2016. Then the appropriate title
could have been 39 x 2. Nothing like
being late, I say.)
"Well, honey, what advice do you think
we ought to offer to the Open Road foks
on this special celebration commemorating
our 39th birthday?"
"Thirty-nine, again? Listen dear you may
be able to fool some of your readers, but
you can't fool Mother Nature."
"Hey, we don't look a day over 39."
"Honey, your days are going by so fast,
if they don't slow down, you'll get a ticket
for speeding."
"Speaking of speeding, what about that
ticket you got..."
"Forget it. Just get back to giving sage
advice to your readers before senility
sets in."
"Well, folks, as we leisurely approach
that time of life distinguished by mature
thoughts and habits..."
("Oh, brother, if he were walking up
39 steps to the gallows, he already would
have been hung twice."
"Aren't you going to wish us happy birthday."
"Happy birthday, honey."
(Originally written in June, 1978)